The Surprising Relief Of Hearing “Me Too” From Another Freelancer

Johnson Stiles
me too

You know that moment when another freelancer casually admits something you thought only you struggled with? Maybe it was losing a month’s income overnight, quoting too low, dealing with a vague client brief, or sitting alone in your apartment, wondering if you picked the right niche. That tiny confession can feel like a pressure valve releasing. It reminds you you’re not the only person trying to build a business without a team, a safety net, or a guaranteed paycheck. This is the quiet power of hearing someone say “me too.” It softens the edges of the journey and helps you keep going.

Below are seven reasons that moment matters more than most freelancers realize.

1. It breaks the illusion that everyone else has it figured out

At some point, you’ve compared your behind-the-scenes to someone’s polished LinkedIn update and quietly wondered what secret manual they were handed at birth. Hearing “me too” pokes a hole in the fantasy. It isn’t about failing. It’s about seeing that even successful freelancers live with uncertainty and still move forward. That perspective keeps you from assuming you’re uniquely unprepared for this work.

2. It gives you psychological permission to be honest

There is a particular loneliness that comes from pretending you’re fine while managing late invoices, overstuffed calendars, or a feast-to-famine cycle. When someone else goes first and shares the messy parts, you feel allowed to drop the armor a little. This honesty matters because it frees up energy for real problem-solving instead of self-protective posturing. Many freelancers find that once they admit the truth, they start asking better questions and making more grounded decisions about clients and pricing.

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3. It resets your expectations of what “normal” looks like

A lot of stress in self-employment isn’t from the work itself. It is from believing you’re supposed to operate like a perfectly optimized productivity robot. Hearing another freelancer say they also have slow months, stalled projects, or days when creativity evaporates helps recalibrate your expectations. That context helps you stop catastrophizing short-term dips and start planning for reality rather than fantasy.

4. It turns shame into strategy

Shame shuts down your ability to learn, experiment, and adapt. The moment someone else says “me too,” shame loses its grip. You can finally analyze what happened without the self-attack spiral. For example, a freelancer who admits they underquoted a project opens the door to discussing scoping methods, anchor pricing, or a minimum engagement fee. Once the emotional fog clears, you can replace self-blame with practical next steps that actually improve your business.

5. It helps you build community instead of competition

Self-employment can feel like a solo sport where everyone else is fighting for the same clients. But shared vulnerability tends to flip that script. When someone reveals a struggle you also face, it becomes easier to root for them instead of viewing them as a threat. Many freelancers discover that their biggest referrals come from peers in the same field, not from trying to outshine everyone. Community grows when people recognize they’re in similar boats navigating the same unpredictable waters.

6. It gives you real benchmarks instead of imaginary ones

You can spend years benchmarking yourself against numbers that were never meant for solo businesses: corporate salaries, influencer revenue claims, agency headcounts. Hearing “me too” from someone with a similar model gives you realistic comparisons. If a peer mentions they average three retainer clients to maintain stability or that they raise rates annually by 10 percent, you have a grounded starting point. It is easier to build a sustainable business when your metrics come from lived experience rather than marketing spin.

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7. It reminds you that independence doesn’t mean isolation

One of the most surprising things freelancers discover is that independence and community are not opposites. You can run a business of one and still have a deep bench of peers who understand your challenges. Every “me too” reinforces that other people are walking a similar path. You get to be self-employed without being alone. That sense of connection becomes an invisible support structure, especially in the months when motivation drops or client issues stack up.

Closing

There’s a particular kind of steadiness that comes from hearing someone else say “me too.” It doesn’t solve your cash flow, rewrite your contracts, or magically deliver ideal clients. But it does quiet the voice that says you’re the only person still figuring this out. Freelancers build better, more resilient businesses when they have people who speak the same language of proposals, pivots, and occasional panic. When you hear “me too,” hold onto it. It is proof you’re part of a real, living community of people building their own paths, just like you.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero; Unsplash

About Self Employed's Editorial Process

The Self Employed editorial policy is led by editor-in-chief, Renee Johnson. We take great pride in the quality of our content. Our writers create original, accurate, engaging content that is free of ethical concerns or conflicts. Our rigorous editorial process includes editing for accuracy, recency, and clarity.

Johnson Stiles is former loan-officer turned contributor to SelfEmployed.com. After retiring in 2020, his mission was to spread his expertise and help others utilize leverage debt to enhance success.