I recently had the opportunity to analyze a fascinating conversation with Gary Vaynerchuk (GaryVee) that struck me as particularly relevant in today’s social media-driven world. His statement that “keeping up with the Joneses is the great pandemic of our society” resonated deeply with me as a marketing strategist who regularly observes the damaging effects of comparison culture.
What makes this observation so powerful is that it comes from someone who has achieved tremendous success yet refuses to flaunt the material rewards of that success. GaryVee mentioned he has “never shared any content ever in my career that speaks to anything bougie,” explaining that he doesn’t believe showing private planes or luxury vacations brings any value. Instead, he sees it as actively harmful.
The Real Cost of Comparison Culture
This perspective is refreshingly counter to what dominates social media today. As someone who analyzes digital marketing trends, I’ve watched the rise of “lifestyle marketing” with growing concern. The constant stream of curated perfection creates unrealistic expectations that leave many people feeling inadequate.
GaryVee highlighted a critical truth: many people could have much better lives if they were willing to live within their financial means. The problem is that they’re unwilling to downsize their homes or return the BMW because they’re trapped in the comparison cycle.
This resonates with what I see in my consulting work. Clients often feel pressure to project success before they’ve achieved it, leading to financial stress that undermines their actual business growth. The irony is painful – they’re sabotaging real success to maintain the appearance of it.
The Hidden Reality Behind Social Media Success
What’s particularly dangerous about today’s comparison culture is how it’s amplified by social media. GaryVee pointed out that many people creating aspirational content are “living in their parents’ basement” or “maximizing credit cards, living way above their means.”
This creates a distorted reality where:
- Success appears more common than it actually is
- The timeline of success seems unnaturally compressed
- The struggles behind achievements remain hidden
- Financial responsibility takes a backseat to maintaining appearances
- Mental health suffers as people feel they’re falling behind
As a marketing strategist, I find this particularly troubling because it creates a marketplace where authenticity becomes a competitive advantage simply because it’s so rare. The businesses and individuals willing to be transparent about their journey stand out precisely because they break from this harmful norm.
The Mental Strength Required for Entrepreneurship
What struck me most about GaryVee’s conversation was his emphasis on mental strength as the foundation of entrepreneurial success. He noted that there’s a reason relatively few people “live their full life with 100% of the financial responsibility on their neck.”
This connects directly to the comparison problem. When entrepreneurs measure themselves against carefully curated social media success stories, they’re setting themselves up for disappointment and self-doubt.
The reality of entrepreneurship includes:
- Agreeing to “let people see you fail in public”
- Facing financial uncertainty and personal risk
- Dealing with disappointment from people you’ve helped
- Managing the mental health challenges of building something
- Finding purpose in the process rather than just the outcome
These challenges require mental fortitude that’s undermined by constant comparison to others. As GaryVee put it, “comparison is the thief of joy.”
Building a Different Relationship with Success
What I appreciate about GaryVee’s approach is how he models a healthier relationship with success. He celebrates others’ wins without feeling diminished by them. He focuses on building rather than displaying. He values the process over the trappings.
This perspective shift is crucial for anyone building a business or personal brand today. The most successful entrepreneurs I work with have learned to define success on their own terms rather than through external validation or comparison.
They understand that true entrepreneurial success comes from creating value, building something meaningful, and maintaining financial and mental health throughout the journey – not from creating the appearance of success to impress others.
Moving Beyond Comparison
So how do we break free from the comparison trap? Based on GaryVee’s insights and my own experience working with entrepreneurs, I recommend:
First, audit your social media consumption. Notice which accounts leave you feeling inadequate or envious, and either unfollow them or consciously reframe how you view their content.
Second, practice gratitude for your actual progress. Document your journey and celebrate small wins rather than constantly moving the goalposts based on what others appear to be achieving.
Third, find community with other builders. Connect with people who value the process of creation and are honest about its challenges.
Finally, define success on your own terms. What actually matters to you beyond impressing others? What would still feel meaningful if no one else ever knew about it?
The most valuable insight from GaryVee’s conversation might be the simplest: we need to get to a place where others’ success doesn’t diminish our own. Where we can genuinely celebrate wins without feeling that they somehow take away from us.
In a world obsessed with keeping up appearances, the real competitive advantage might be the freedom that comes from no longer trying to keep up at all.
