I’ve learned a valuable lesson throughout my career that I’d like to share with you today. The best way to trust people is to vet them thoroughly first. This might sound counterintuitive—after all, isn’t trust about taking a leap of faith? Not exactly. Genuine trust is built on verification.
Throughout my years as Chairman of the Napoleon Hill Institute and during my time as CEO at Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment, I’ve seen how proper vetting can make or break business relationships and deals. When we skip the vetting process, we pay for it later—often at a steep price.
Ask the Hard Questions
Most people avoid asking difficult questions because they’re uncomfortable. They worry about appearing rude or distrustful. I’ve made this mistake myself, and it’s cost me dearly.
What I’ve learned is that asking tough questions isn’t about distrust—it’s about establishing a foundation for genuine trust. When you ask direct questions about someone’s experience, their track record, or their claims, you’re not being cynical. You’re being smart.
Some essential questions I now make sure to ask include:
- Can you provide specific examples of when you’ve delivered similar results before?
- Who can vouch for your work and character?
- What challenges did you face in previous situations, and how did you overcome them?
These questions might feel uncomfortable at first, but they separate those who can deliver from those who just talk a good game.
Demand Proof When Things Don’t Add Up
We all have that gut feeling when something doesn’t seem right. Early in my career, I often ignored those instincts to avoid conflict. I’ve since learned that when something feels off, it usually is.
When someone makes claims that seem exaggerated or inconsistent, asking for proof isn’t being difficult—it’s being diligent. If they say they’ve achieved remarkable results, ask to see the data. If they claim to have valuable connections, ask for introductions.
Legitimate people will respect your thoroughness. Those who have something to hide will get defensive or evasive. Either way, you get valuable information.
Talk to References—And Beyond
References are standard in business, but most people don’t dig deep enough. I’ve found that the real insights come from going beyond the provided references.
When vetting someone:
- Talk to their references, but ask specific questions about challenges and weaknesses
- Find people in your network who might know them but weren’t provided as references
- Check with competitors or peers in their industry for reputation insights
This expanded approach has saved me countless times from partnerships that would have ended badly.
The Cost of Skipping Due Diligence
Looking back on my career, I can point to specific instances where proper vetting would have made a significant difference. If I had trusted but verified everyone I’ve done business with, I believe I’d be far beyond a billionaire today.
That’s not an exaggeration. The most significant financial setbacks in my career came not from market forces or bad luck, but from trusting the wrong people without proper verification.
The time you invest in vetting pays dividends in the form of avoided disasters. A few hours of uncomfortable questions can save years of headaches and millions in losses.
Building Trust Through Transparency
The irony is that thorough vetting actually builds stronger trust. When both parties have been transparent and verified, the foundation is solid. You can move forward with confidence rather than being plagued by nagging doubts.
I’ve found that the best business relationships in my life started with mutual vetting. We asked each other tough questions, provided proof of our claims, and checked references. The result was partnerships built on rock-solid trust rather than wishful thinking.
Trust isn’t about blind faith—it’s about creating certainty through verification. When you know someone has passed your vetting process, you can trust them at a deeper level than you ever could without that foundation.
Remember: trust but verify. Your future success depends on it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Isn’t thorough vetting offensive to potential partners?
Not if you approach it professionally. I’ve found that high-quality partners respect due diligence and are happy to verify their claims. The only people who take offense are typically those who have something to hide. Frame your vetting as a mutual process that benefits both parties by establishing clear expectations.
Q: How deep should I go when checking references?
Go beyond surface-level questions. Ask about specific situations where the person faced challenges, how they handled conflicts, and what their weaknesses might be. I also recommend finding “off-list” references—people who know the person but weren’t provided as formal references. These often provide more balanced insights.
Q: What are the warning signs during the vetting process?
Watch for defensiveness, vague answers, or attempts to change the subject when asked for specifics. Be wary of anyone who can’t provide concrete examples of past successes or who has excuses for why you can’t speak to former partners. Inconsistencies in their story over time are another major red flag I’ve learned to spot.
Q: How do you balance thorough vetting with moving quickly on opportunities?
This is always a challenge, but I’ve developed a tiered approach. For smaller commitments, a basic level of verification might suffice. As the stakes increase, so should the depth of your vetting. I’ve found that having a systematic process in place helps speed things up without cutting corners. Remember that the time spent vetting is an investment that pays off in avoided problems.
Q: What if you’ve already entered a partnership without proper vetting?
It’s never too late to increase transparency. I’ve salvaged relationships by having honest conversations about expectations and verification, even after the partnership began. However, if you discover serious discrepancies or dishonesty during this process, be prepared to make tough decisions about continuing the relationship. The cost of staying in a compromised partnership usually exceeds the cost of ending it.
