When I was nine years old, I faced a moment that would define my understanding of courage. Lying in that emergency room with a bald head and fear in my heart, I didn’t yet comprehend what “fighting forward” truly meant. But I was about to learn.
My warrior mom came into that sterile hospital room on January 17, 1987. She took my hand, patted my bald head, and said those three simple words: “I love you.” But I wasn’t in the mood for sentimentality. I asked her point-blank: “Mom, knock it off with the love. Am I going to die?”
Her response changed everything. She looked me straight in the eyes and asked, “Do you want to?”
That question wasn’t cruel—it was clarifying. It forced me to make a choice about my attitude toward the battle ahead. When I told her I didn’t want to die, she gave me the framework that would carry me through: “Good. Then take the hand of God. Walk the journey with him. But listen, you fight like you never fought before.”
The Choice to Fight When Odds Are Against You
What strikes me most about this memory is that I had no idea I had “no chance of surviving” according to medical opinions. My parents shielded me from that crushing prognosis, not to deceive me, but to preserve my fighting spirit.
There’s profound wisdom in this approach. Sometimes knowing all the odds stacked against you can paralyze rather than motivate. My mother understood that a nine-year-old boy needed to focus on the fight, not the statistical probability of failure.
This lesson extends far beyond medical crises. In business, relationships, and personal growth, we often face situations where conventional wisdom suggests we cannot succeed. The data looks bad. The experts shake their heads. The path forward seems impossible.
Three Elements of Fighting Forward
Looking back at my mother’s guidance, I see three critical components to fighting forward through seemingly impossible situations:
- Spiritual Connection – “Take the hand of God.” Finding something larger than yourself to draw strength from.
- Community Support – “Dad and I will be with you. We’re not going to leave you.” No one fights major battles alone.
- Personal Responsibility – “Do your part and fight.” Others can support, but ultimately you must engage in the battle.
These elements create a powerful framework for facing any challenge. The balance between receiving support and taking personal responsibility is particularly crucial.
She said, “Dad and I will be with you. We’re not leaving you, but do your part and fight.”
The Impact of Not Knowing the Odds
I often wonder how differently things might have turned out if I’d known the medical prognosis. Would I have fought with the same determination? Or would knowing the slim chances have diminished my will to fight?
There’s something powerful about naive determination—the kind that doesn’t know enough to be discouraged. As adults, we sometimes know too much about failure rates and statistical probabilities. We’ve seen too many similar situations end badly. We’ve become “realistic.”
But what if that realism sometimes works against us? What if, like that nine-year-old boy, we need to focus simply on taking the next step, fighting the next round, without being burdened by all the reasons we might fail?
Applying This Mindset Today
I’ve carried this “fighting forward” mentality throughout my life. When clients face service challenges that seem insurmountable, when organizations need cultural transformation that appears too difficult, I remind them of this principle.
The approach works because it:
- Focuses energy on action rather than worry
- Creates momentum through small victories
- Builds resilience through the process of struggle
- Allows for unexpected positive outcomes that statistics can’t predict
Fighting forward isn’t about blind optimism. It’s about determined action in the face of difficulty, supported by faith and community.
That morning in January 1987 taught me that sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply decide to fight—regardless of what the odds say, regardless of what seems “realistic.” We take the hand of whatever higher power we believe in, we accept the support of those who love us, and then we fight forward, one day at a time.
And sometimes, just sometimes, we discover we’re stronger than anyone—including ourselves—ever imagined possible.
