I’ve noticed something troubling in our society: people don’t ask for help enough. While many of us understand the concept of giving—teachers, first responders, veterans, and countless professionals in various fields—we often miss a crucial part of the abundance equation.
For years, I’ve lived by the principle that the more we give, the more we’ll receive. This mindset has served me well in my career, from my time as CEO at Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment to my current role as Chairman of the Napoleon Hill Institute. But I’ve come to realize this formula is incomplete.
The truth is more nuanced: the more you give, the more you’re given. This distinction is subtle but powerful. Being given something doesn’t automatically translate to receiving it—you must actively ask to receive what’s being offered.
The Missing Link in Abundance
Most generous people understand giving. We donate our time, share our knowledge, and offer our resources. What we often fail to do is ask for what we need in return. This reluctance creates an imbalance in the flow of abundance.
Think about it this way:
- When you give, you create value for others
- When others want to give back to you, they make things available
- If you don’t ask for what’s available, you can’t receive it
- Without receiving, you limit your capacity to give more
This cycle of giving, being given, asking, and receiving creates an upward spiral of abundance. Each component is essential—remove any one, and the system breaks down.
Why We Don’t Ask
I’ve coached countless entrepreneurs and business leaders who struggle with asking. Some fear rejection. Others worry about appearing needy or incompetent. Many believe they should be able to handle everything themselves.
These limiting beliefs prevent us from accessing resources that are readily available. When we fail to ask, we’re actually denying others the opportunity to give—something most people genuinely want to do.
The more you ask for, the more you’ll end up with more than more, then you’re able to give more than more, be given more than more, be able to receive more than more than ask for more than more than more.
While my phrasing might sound repetitive, the concept is simple: asking creates a positive feedback loop that amplifies everything good in your life.
Living in a World of More Than Enough
At 56, I’ve learned what some fortunate people discover much earlier—we live in a world of abundance, not scarcity. There is more than enough of everything for everyone. This mindset shift changes everything.
When you believe in abundance:
- You give freely without fear of depletion
- You recognize opportunities being presented to you
- You ask confidently for what you need
- You receive gratefully what comes your way
This cycle continues to expand throughout your life. By the time you reach your later years, you’ll have accumulated more than enough—not just material wealth, but knowledge, relationships, experiences, and opportunities to make a difference.
I’ve seen this principle work in my own life. The more I’ve asked for help, guidance, and opportunities, the more I’ve been able to give back. My work coaching entrepreneurs, speaking to audiences worldwide, and mentoring young professionals has been possible because I learned to ask as well as give.
The complete formula for abundance is giving, being given, asking, and receiving—all four components working together in harmony. Master this cycle, and you’ll never lack for anything truly important in life.
So I challenge you: What do you need to ask for today? What resources, connections, or opportunities would help you give even more to the world? Don’t wait—ask now. The world is ready to respond with abundance.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Isn’t asking for help a sign of weakness?
Not at all. Asking for help is actually a sign of strength and wisdom. The most successful people I’ve worked with throughout my career are those who know when to leverage the expertise and resources of others. Asking demonstrates self-awareness and a commitment to achieving the best possible outcomes.
Q: How can I become more comfortable with asking for what I need?
Start small and practice regularly. Begin by asking for minor things from people you trust, then gradually work up to bigger requests. Remember that most people actually enjoy helping others—it gives them a sense of purpose and satisfaction. Also, focus on how your request might benefit the other person or allow them to share their gifts.
Q: What’s the difference between being given something and receiving it?
Being given something means it’s made available to you, while receiving requires active acceptance on your part. Think about opportunities that have been presented to you that you didn’t take advantage of—those were things you were given but didn’t receive. Receiving often requires recognition, gratitude, and the willingness to use what’s been offered.
Q: How does the abundance mindset differ from a scarcity mindset?
A scarcity mindset assumes there’s a limited amount of everything—success, money, opportunities, love—so you must compete and hoard what you get. An abundance mindset recognizes there’s more than enough for everyone. With abundance thinking, you freely give, confidently ask, and gratefully receive, knowing that resources flow and multiply rather than diminish when shared.
Q: Can asking too much become selfish or greedy?
The key is balance and intention. Asking becomes problematic when it’s one-sided—if you’re always asking but never giving. However, when asking is part of a complete cycle that includes generous giving and grateful receiving, it’s healthy and productive. Ask with the intention of creating more value for everyone involved, not just yourself.
