I’ve spent decades in the business world —from leading a major sports agency to coaching entrepreneurs —and I’ve discovered that success often boils down to a surprisingly simple mindset. The most powerful approach isn’t about complex strategies or cutthroat competition—it’s about genuine service.
Recently, I experienced a perfect example of this philosophy in action. While dining out, a note arrived at my table informing me that my dinner had been paid for by some gentlemen who had been sitting nearby. The note explained that this person had applied what I’d taught him: he had called his biggest client—a major automobile manufacturer—to wish them a good weekend and ask whether there was anything he could do to help.
The result? They immediately asked him to come to San Diego to open a new regional operation. My dinner was his way of saying thanks for the advice that led to this opportunity.
The Power of Service-First Thinking
What strikes me about this story isn’t just the business success it represents, but the mindset behind it. This person wasn’t focused on making a sale or advancing his agenda. He simply reached out with genuine concern for his client’s needs. His note concluded with something profound: “This happens every day to me because I just want to be of service and provide value.
This is the secret that many people miss in their pursuit of success. When you shift your focus from what you can get to what you can give, everything changes.
I’ve seen this principle work consistently across industries and situations. The most successful people I’ve coached or worked with share this common trait: they lead with service rather than self-interest.
Two Questions That Can Change Everything
If you want to transform your professional and personal life, start asking these two questions in every interaction:
- How can I be of service?
- How can I provide value?
These questions represent a fundamental shift in perspective. Instead of approaching relationships with the primary goal of extracting value, you begin by looking for ways to contribute.
This approach works because it builds trust, strengthens relationships, and positions you as someone who genuinely cares. In business, this translates to stronger client relationships, more referrals, and opportunities that might never have materialized otherwise.
Putting Service Into Practice
The beauty of this approach is its simplicity. You don’t need special skills or resources to implement it. Here’s how to start:
- Make regular check-in calls with no agenda except to see how people are doing
- Listen carefully for needs or challenges you might help address
- Follow up on conversations with helpful resources or connections
- Celebrate others’ successes without expecting anything in return
What makes this approach powerful is consistency. The person who bought my dinner didn’t just make one service-oriented call—he had developed a habit of looking for ways to help others. As he put it, “This happens every day to me.”
I’ve found that when you consistently approach life with a service mindset, opportunities find you. Doors open that you didn’t even know existed. People remember you and want to reciprocate your generosity.
The most successful people aren’t those who chase success directly—they’re the ones who focus on creating value for others. Success becomes the natural byproduct of their service.
This principle applies beyond business. In personal relationships, community involvement, and even casual interactions, leading with “How can I help?” creates positive ripple effects that eventually return to you in unexpected ways.
So if you want to change your life, start by changing your questions. Stop asking “What’s in it for me?” and start asking “How can I be of service? How can I provide value?” The results might surprise you—perhaps even with a paid dinner and a note of thanks from someone whose life you’ve helped transform.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Isn’t focusing on service just another way to manipulate people into giving you business?
Not at all. The key distinction is authenticity. When you genuinely want to help others without expectation of return, people sense that sincerity. The moment service becomes transactional or manipulative, it loses its power. True service comes from a place of generosity, not calculation.
Q: How do I balance being of service with running a profitable business?
This is a common concern, but I’ve found that service and profitability aren’t opposing forces. By focusing on creating exceptional value for clients, your business naturally grows through stronger relationships, referrals, and repeat business. Set clear boundaries around your time and resources, but within those boundaries, make service your priority.
Q: What if people take advantage of my service-oriented approach?
While this can happen occasionally, it’s relatively rare. Most people respond to genuine service with appreciation and reciprocity. If you notice someone consistently taking without giving back, it’s perfectly reasonable to adjust your approach with that individual. Being service-oriented doesn’t mean being a doormat.
Q: How can I apply this approach when I’m just starting my career or business?
Starting out is actually the perfect time to build a foundation of service. Look for opportunities to help others in your network, even in small ways. Share helpful information, make introductions, or volunteer your skills. These actions build your reputation and relationships, which are invaluable assets for career growth and business development.
Q: Does this service approach work in all industries and cultures?
Yes, though the specific expressions of service may vary. The fundamental human appreciation for someone who genuinely wants to help is universal. I’ve seen this principle work across diverse industries — from sports and entertainment to technology and manufacturing —and in different cultural contexts. The key is understanding what constitutes value in your specific context.
