The Two-Way Street to Success: Ask or Give Help

David Meltzer
ask give help success
ask give help success

Success isn’t a solo journey. After decades in the sports and entertainment industry and coaching countless entrepreneurs, I’ve discovered a fundamental truth that has transformed my approach to achievement: the fastest path to success involves other people.

There are really only two accelerated routes to reaching your goals, and both involve human connection. You can either seek guidance from someone who’s already where you want to be, or you can help others reach their goals. These two approaches have consistently proven more effective than trying to figure everything out on your own.

The Power of Asking for Help

I spent too many years of my career trying to reinvent the wheel. Pride and ego often disguise themselves as self-reliance, but they’re actually barriers to progress. When I finally started approaching people who had already achieved what I was striving for, my trajectory changed dramatically.

Think about it logically: Why spend years making the same mistakes others have already made and learned from? Someone sitting in the position you desire has already:

The knowledge transfer that happens when you humble yourself enough to ask for guidance compresses years of trial and error into concentrated wisdom. This isn’t about looking for shortcuts—it’s about being efficient with your most precious resource: time.

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The Transformative Act of Giving Help

The second path might seem counterintuitive at first glance. How does helping someone else get to where they want to be help you reach your own goals? This approach has been the backbone of my most significant achievements.

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When you commit to helping others succeed, several powerful things happen:

  1. You develop deeper mastery of your own skills by teaching others
  2. You build a reputation as someone who adds value
  3. You create a network of people who feel invested in your success
  4. You gain access to opportunities through expanded relationships
  5. You develop leadership qualities that make you more valuable in any context

I’ve witnessed this phenomenon countless times in my career. When I focused on helping sports agents and athletes achieve their goals, my own opportunities multiplied. Success leaves clues, but it also leaves gratitude—and people naturally want to help those who have helped them.

Breaking the Self-Reliance Myth

Our culture often glorifies the “self-made” individual who supposedly achieved greatness through sheer willpower and independence. This is largely a myth. Behind every successful person is a network of mentors, supporters, and those who benefited from their help.

The truth is that success is relational. The most efficient path forward involves leveraging the experience of others or creating value through service. Both approaches recognize that we achieve more together than we ever could alone.

I’ve coached thousands of entrepreneurs and executives, and those who struggle the most are often those who insist on figuring everything out independently. Meanwhile, those who embrace these two pathways—asking for help or giving it—consistently outpace their peers.

Putting This Into Practice

If you’re serious about accelerating your journey to success, start by identifying people who are where you want to be. Approach them with specific, thoughtful questions that show you value their time. Alternatively, look for opportunities to help others in meaningful ways that leverage your unique strengths.

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Remember that this isn’t about manipulation or transactional relationships. The most powerful connections come from genuine interest and authentic desire to contribute. When you approach relationships with generosity and humility, you create the conditions for mutual success.

The fastest way to get where you want to be isn’t a secret formula or a hidden hack. It’s about human connection—either asking for guidance from those who’ve gone before you or helping others along their journey. That’s the only reliable shortcut I’ve found in my decades of business experience.


Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I approach someone who’s already achieved what I want?

Start by doing your homework about their work and achievements. Reach out with a specific, concise request that respects their time. Explain why you’re approaching them specifically and what you hope to learn. Be prepared with focused questions that show you’re serious about implementing their advice.

Q: What if I don’t have anything valuable to offer when helping others?

Everyone has something to offer. You might have technical skills, industry knowledge, a fresh perspective, connections, or simply time and enthusiasm. Sometimes the most valuable help comes from simply being willing to listen, encourage, and support someone else’s vision. Start with what you have and your capacity to help will grow.

Q: Won’t asking for help make me appear weak or incompetent?

Quite the opposite. The most successful people I know are constantly seeking advice and mentorship. Asking thoughtful questions demonstrates self-awareness, humility, and a growth mindset. These qualities are highly respected in any professional context. The truly incompetent are those who pretend to know everything already.

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Q: How do I balance helping others with pursuing my own goals?

This isn’t an either/or proposition. When you help others strategically in areas aligned with your expertise or interests, you’re simultaneously advancing your own development. Set boundaries around your time and energy, focus on helping in ways that energize rather than drain you, and remember that building a reputation as someone who adds value creates long-term opportunities.

Q: What if the person I ask for help says no?

Rejection is part of the process. Many successful people have limited time and numerous requests. If someone declines, thank them for considering and move on to the next person. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes the timing isn’t right, or they may not be the best fit. Persistence and approaching multiple potential mentors increases your chances of finding the right match.

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​​David Meltzer is the Chairman of the Napoleon Hill Institute and formerly served as CEO of the renowned Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment agency, which was the inspiration for the movie Jerry Maguire. He is a globally recognized entrepreneur, investor, and top business coach. Variety Magazine has recognized him as their Sports Humanitarian of the Year and has been awarded the Ellis Island Medal of Honor.