I recently sold my wife’s car for $5,000 more than what we originally paid. When she asked how I managed this seemingly impossible feat, my answer was simple: I was completely comfortable articulating the car’s value.
This wasn’t luck or salesmanship trickery. It was about knowing my bottom line and being confident enough to ask for what I believed was fair. I didn’t approach the sale desperate to make a deal. Instead, I made it clear I wasn’t eager to trade in the vehicle, and I had alternatives ready—Carvana was standing by if I couldn’t get my price.
The Power of Knowing Your Worth
This experience mirrors what I’ve learned throughout my career, especially in professional speaking. When I first started on the speaking circuit, I received exactly zero dollars for most of my engagements. But even then, my representative was comfortable articulating a $5,000 fee.
Did we always get it? Of course not. But that zero-dollar reality was my bottom line—I was willing to speak for free to build my reputation, but we always started the conversation at a higher point.
The key lesson here is that your comfort with articulating your value directly impacts what you’ll receive. Too many people undervalue themselves from the start, leaving money on the table before negotiations even begin.
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The Value Progression
As I improved my speaking skills and built my reputation, something remarkable happened. By year’s end, I received my first $25,000 speaking engagement. The progression was steady:
- Starting point: Comfortable asking for $5,000 (while often accepting zero)
- Growth stage: Comfortable with $10,000
- Breakthrough: First $25,000 engagement
- Advanced level: $50,000 engagements
- Current level: $100,000 engagements
This growth didn’t happen because I suddenly became ten times better at speaking. It happened because my comfort with articulating higher value increased alongside my actual value.
Applying This Mindset Beyond Sales
This principle extends far beyond selling cars or booking speaking engagements. I’ve seen it work in salary negotiations, business deals, and even personal relationships. When you’re genuinely comfortable expressing your worth—without arrogance but with conviction—others respond differently.
Many people struggle with this concept because they confuse comfort with value and confidence with arrogance. There’s nothing arrogant about knowing your worth and being able to express it clearly.
The bottom line serves as your safety net, not your target.
I always know my bottom line—the minimum I’ll accept—but I never lead with it. In the car sale example, my bottom line was the trade-in value. With speaking, my bottom line was zero dollars when I was building my platform. But in both cases, I was comfortable articulating a much higher value.
Building Your Value Comfort Zone
How can you apply this in your own life? Start by honestly assessing your value in whatever arena you’re operating in. Then practice articulating a value slightly higher than what makes you comfortable. This isn’t about being unreasonable—it’s about stretching your comfort zone.
Remember that having alternatives strengthens your position. With my car, I had Carvana as a backup. In your case, it might be another job offer, a different client, or simply the confidence to walk away from a bad deal.
Your comfort with articulating value is a muscle that grows stronger with use. The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes, and the more others will respond to that confidence.
The next time you’re in a negotiation—whether for a salary, a speaking fee, or even selling your car—remember that your comfort with articulating value may be the most important factor in determining what you receive. Know your bottom line, but don’t be afraid to ask for what you’re truly worth.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do you determine your “bottom line” in a negotiation?
Your bottom line should be the minimum acceptable outcome that still provides value to you. For me, when selling my wife’s car, it was the trade-in value I was guaranteed to get. When starting as a speaker, it was doing engagements for free to build my platform. Calculate what you absolutely need or what alternatives are available to you, and that becomes your walk-away point.
Q: Won’t asking for too much scare away potential clients or buyers?
There’s a difference between asking for too much and confidently articulating your true value. If you can clearly communicate the value you provide and why it commands your asking price, the right clients won’t be scared away. Those who are might not have been the right fit anyway. Remember, negotiation is usually expected, so starting higher gives you room to find common ground.
Q: How did you build confidence in asking for higher speaking fees?
My confidence grew through a combination of skill development, positive feedback, and incremental increases. I didn’t jump from free to $100,000 overnight. I moved from being comfortable asking for $5,000 to $10,000, then $25,000, and so on. Each successful engagement at a higher fee validated my value and made me more comfortable asking for more the next time.
Q: Is this approach applicable in employment salary negotiations?
Absolutely. In salary negotiations, many people make the mistake of anchoring too low or accepting the first offer. Instead, research market rates for your position and experience, then be comfortable articulating a value at the higher end of that range. Have a bottom line based on your needs and market minimum, but don’t lead with it. Also, consider what alternatives you have, as this strengthens your position.
Q: What if someone flatly rejects your initial ask?
A rejection isn’t necessarily the end of negotiation. Ask questions to understand their perspective and constraints. Sometimes it’s about timing, budget cycles, or other factors beyond simple valuation. Be prepared to explain your value proposition more clearly or offer different terms. And always remember your bottom line—if they can’t meet it, be ready to walk away professionally, keeping the door open for future opportunities.
