This contradiction became painfully obvious during a visit to see my older brother who was hospitalized at the time. As I walked into his room, I blurted out without thinking, “Man, I hate hospitals.”
My brother nearly fell out of his chair laughing. “Dave, you’re premed. You hate hospitals. You want to be a doctor. What are you talking about?” he asked, bewildered by my lack of foresight.
I explained my grand plan: “I want to be a sports doctor. I’ll be on the field. I’m not going to be in a hospital.”
His response was a wake-up call that I desperately needed. “You know, you have to be in a hospital when you’re a doctor to learn how to be a doctor before you can get on a field.”
That simple exchange revealed how little research I’d done about my chosen career path. I had created an idealized version of being a sports doctor without understanding the years of hospital training required to get there. I was so focused on telling people about my interesting career choice that I hadn’t been interested enough to learn what it actually entailed.
The Wisdom That Transformed My Approach
In that hospital room, my brother shared advice that would become a guiding principle in my life: “Be more interested than interesting.”
This simple phrase contains profound wisdom. Too often, we focus on presenting ourselves as interesting people. We craft personas, rehearse our achievements, and position ourselves as worthy of attention. But this approach is backward.
When we shift our focus to being genuinely interested in others and the world around us, several things happen:
- We learn more about potential paths before committing to them
- We build deeper connections with people who feel truly heard
- We make fewer assumptions and better decisions
- We discover opportunities we might have missed otherwise
This principle has served me well throughout my career. When I became CEO of Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment, the agency that inspired the movie Jerry Maguire, I made it my mission to be interested in our clients as people first, athletes second. This approach built trust that competitors couldn’t match.
Applying This Wisdom in Your Life
Being more interested than interesting requires a fundamental shift in mindset. Here’s how I’ve learned to practice it:
First, approach conversations as learning opportunities rather than chances to impress. Ask thoughtful questions and listen – really listen – to the answers. You’ll be amazed at what you discover when you’re not waiting for your turn to speak.
Second, research thoroughly before making big decisions. My hospital revelation could have saved me years of pursuing the wrong path if I’d caught it earlier. Now, I dive deep into understanding new ventures before committing.
Third, recognize that genuine curiosity makes you more magnetic than any rehearsed personal story. People are drawn to those who show authentic interest in them. The irony is that by focusing less on being interesting, you often become more so.
Looking back at my career trajectory from that naive pre-med student to chairman of the Napoleon Hill Institute, I can trace much of my success to this principle. The moments when I’ve been most effective as a business coach, entrepreneur, and investor have been when I’ve set aside my ego and gotten genuinely curious about the people and opportunities before me.
My brother’s simple advice in that hospital room did more than save me from a career mismatch – it gave me a philosophy that has opened doors I never imagined possible. By being more interested than interesting, I’ve built relationships and discovered opportunities that would have remained invisible had I been focused only on my own narrative.
The next time you find yourself crafting the perfect story about your accomplishments or rehearsing how to impress someone, pause and flip the script. Ask yourself: “How can I be more interested in them instead?” The results might surprise you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How can being “more interested than interesting” help in business negotiations?
When you’re genuinely interested in the other party’s needs and motivations, you can identify win-win solutions that might otherwise be missed. I’ve found that negotiators who listen more than they talk often secure better deals because they understand the true priorities at the table. This approach builds trust and opens doors to creative solutions.
Q: Does being interested in others mean you shouldn’t talk about yourself at all?
Not at all. The principle isn’t about never sharing your own stories or achievements, but rather about the balance and intention behind your communication. Share your experiences when relevant, but do so in service of the conversation rather than to impress. The goal is meaningful exchange, not one-sided performance.
Q: How do you practice being more interested when networking at events?
I approach networking events with a goal to learn something new from each person I meet rather than to distribute as many business cards as possible. Ask open-ended questions about their work challenges, recent projects, or what excites them about their industry. Follow up with thoughtful questions that show you’re listening. You’ll stand out more by being the person who made others feel valued than by being the loudest voice in the room.
Q: Can this principle help with career decisions like it did with your medical school plans?
Absolutely. Before committing to a career path, become deeply interested in the day-to-day reality of that profession. Talk to people already doing the job, shadow them if possible, and research thoroughly. Being interested enough to discover the unvarnished truth about a career path can save years of pursuing something that doesn’t align with your actual preferences and strengths.
Q: How has being “more interested than interesting” contributed to your success as a business coach?
As a coach, my effectiveness comes from understanding my clients’ unique situations, not from imposing a one-size-fits-all formula. By being genuinely interested in their specific challenges, goals, and strengths, I can provide guidance that actually works for them. This approach has led to better results and stronger client relationships than if I had focused on showcasing my own expertise and past successes.
