The first time I got rejected by a girl, I had a choice to make. I could have wallowed in self-pity or I could reframe the situation entirely. I chose the latter, asking myself: “What if I’m only 25 ‘no’s away from getting my dream girl?” With that simple shift in perspective, the second rejection didn’t devastate me—it energized me. Instead of thinking nobody liked me, I thought, “Great! Only 23 more to go!”
This mindset has been transformative throughout my life. While most people see rejection as failure, I see it as progress. Each “no” isn’t a step backward—it’s a step closer to the “yes” that matters. This isn’t blind optimism; it’s a practical approach to navigating life’s inevitable disappointments.
The Mathematics of Persistence
I remember getting rejected for the twenty-fourth straight time while dating. My best friend looked at me bewildered, “Dude, why are you so excited?” My response was simple: “I’m almost there!” While he saw repeated failure, I saw myself on the threshold of success.
Most guys would have quit after the first few rejections, certainly after two dozen. But that’s exactly why most people don’t get what they truly want in life. They give up right before the breakthrough happens.
The universe operates on this principle more often than we realize. Success rarely comes without a series of failures first. Consider some of the patterns I’ve observed:
- Sales professionals know it typically takes 8-10 “no’s” before getting a “yes”
- Many successful entrepreneurs failed multiple times before their breakthrough
- Job seekers often face numerous rejections before landing their ideal position
The difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who don’t often comes down to how they handle these inevitable rejections along the way.
Rejection as a Filtering Mechanism
What I’ve come to understand is that rejection serves a valuable purpose. Each “no” filters out what isn’t right for you and directs you toward what is. Rejection isn’t personal—it’s directional.
When I was pursuing my career in sports and entertainment, I faced countless closed doors. Each rejection refined my approach, sharpened my skills, and ultimately guided me to opportunities that aligned with my true strengths and passions.
This perspective shift transforms rejection from something to fear into something to welcome. Instead of dreading the “no,” I began to see it as valuable feedback—each one getting me closer to my goal.
The Results Speak for Themselves
By embracing this mindset throughout my life, the results have been remarkable. I ended up with the best wife, the best houses, and the best jobs. And guess what? I received tons of “no’s” to get them all.
My success didn’t come from avoiding rejection—it came from pursuing it with enthusiasm. When you remove the emotional sting from hearing “no,” you free yourself to take more shots, make more attempts, and ultimately find the opportunities that others miss.
This approach has served me well in business too. As Chairman of the Napoleon Hill Institute and in my previous role as CEO of Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment, I’ve seen how this principle applies across industries and endeavors.
Reframing Rejection in Your Life
How might your life change if you started celebrating rejection instead of fearing it? What if each “no” became a source of excitement rather than disappointment?
I challenge you to try this approach. The next time you face rejection—whether in your personal life, career, or business—remind yourself that you’re one “no” closer to the “yes” that will change everything.
Rejection isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the journey toward it. By embracing this truth, you’ll develop the resilience needed to achieve what most people never will, simply because they gave up too soon.
So get out there and collect those “no’s” with enthusiasm. Your dream relationship, career, or opportunity might be just one rejection away.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do you maintain enthusiasm after multiple rejections?
I focus on the mathematics of success rather than the emotional impact of rejection. By viewing each “no” as progress toward my goal, I maintain momentum. I also celebrate rejection as evidence that I’m taking action rather than sitting on the sidelines.
Q: Does this approach work in all areas of life or just in dating?
This mindset works across all areas of life. I’ve applied it to my business ventures, career moves, and personal relationships. The principle remains the same: persistence through rejection leads to eventual success, regardless of the domain.
Q: What if you face rejection that seems particularly harsh or personal?
Even harsh rejection serves a purpose. I try to extract the lesson without internalizing the negativity. Sometimes the most painful “no’s” redirect us to much better opportunities that we wouldn’t have discovered otherwise.
Q: How many rejections should someone expect before success?
There’s no magic number, and it varies by goal and circumstance. The key is to keep going when most would quit. In my experience, breakthrough often happens just past the point where most people give up—which is why persistence is such a competitive advantage.
Q: How has this perspective on rejection influenced your business coaching?
I teach my clients to track and even celebrate rejection. Many entrepreneurs avoid situations where they might hear “no,” which limits their growth. By reframing rejection as progress, they take more shots, make more offers, and ultimately achieve greater success than their rejection-avoidant competitors.
