I recently had an experience that perfectly illustrates the power of genuine service. While dining out, a note arrived at my table informing me that my dinner had been paid for by some gentlemen who had been sitting nearby. The note explained that this person had followed my advice, made a simple phone call to their biggest client (a major automobile manufacturer), and simply asked how they could be of service.
The result? An immediate invitation to open up an entirely new region in San Diego for this client. The dinner was their way of saying thank you for the advice that led to this opportunity.
This isn’t a rare occurrence in my life. Similar situations happen to me regularly, and it’s not because I’m special or lucky. It’s because I’ve built my entire approach to business and life around two fundamental questions that anyone can use.
The Power of Service-First Thinking
Throughout my career, from my time as CEO at Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment to my current roles as an entrepreneur and business coach, I’ve discovered that success follows a simple formula. When you genuinely focus on helping others without immediate expectation of return, opportunities find their way to you.
The first question I always ask is: “How can I be of service? How can I provide value to you?” This question shifts the entire dynamic of a relationship. Instead of approaching interactions with a “what can I get” mindset, you enter with a “what can I give” perspective.
Think about how refreshing that is in today’s world. Most people reach out only when they need something. But when you connect with someone simply to offer help or value, you immediately stand out. You create goodwill that often returns in unexpected ways.
The Magic of the Second Question
The second question might seem counterintuitive after the first, but it’s equally powerful: “Do you know anyone that could help me?”
After establishing yourself as someone who genuinely wants to help, asking for connections creates a natural opportunity for reciprocity. Most people are happy to make introductions or offer assistance to someone who has first demonstrated a giving mindset.
This approach works because:
- It respects the relationship by offering value first
- It makes the ask specific and actionable (connections rather than direct favors)
- It allows the other person to help in a way that’s comfortable for them
- It expands your network through warm introductions
The beauty of this approach is that it creates a positive cycle. When you’re introduced to new contacts through this method, you can begin the relationship by asking how you can be of service to them, continuing the pattern of giving first.
Real-World Application
The story of my dinner being paid for demonstrates exactly how this works in practice. My client didn’t call his automotive contact with a sales pitch or asking for more business. He simply reached out to wish them a good weekend and ask if there was anything he could do to help.
That small gesture—that genuine offer of service—opened the door to a significant business opportunity. The client recognized and appreciated the approach so much that they felt compelled to thank me for teaching it.
I believe this approach can transform any business or career. When you consistently focus on creating value for others, you become the person everyone wants to work with, refer to others, and help succeed.
Starting Your Own Service Journey
If you want to implement this approach in your own life, start small. Identify five people in your network who you could help without expecting anything in return. Reach out with a simple message asking how you can be of service or provide value.
After you’ve established this pattern, don’t be afraid to ask for introductions or connections that could help you. You’ll likely find people are much more receptive to helping someone who has demonstrated a giving mindset.
The most powerful aspect of this approach is its simplicity. You don’t need special skills or resources to start. All you need is the genuine desire to help others and the courage to ask for connections when appropriate.
I’ve seen this transform careers, businesses, and lives—including my own. Two simple questions, consistently applied, can open doors you never imagined possible. How can you be of service today?
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Won’t people take advantage of me if I’m always offering to help?
In my experience, the opposite happens. When you approach relationships with authentic service, you attract people who appreciate and respect that quality. Those who would take advantage typically reveal themselves quickly, allowing you to focus your energy on mutually beneficial relationships. The key is being genuinely helpful without depleting yourself.
Q: How do I offer value when I don’t know what someone needs?
Simply asking is powerful. A direct “How can I help you right now?” opens the conversation. Listen carefully to their response. Sometimes people need connections, sometimes advice, sometimes just a sounding board. The act of asking demonstrates your intention to be helpful, which itself creates goodwill.
Q: Is this approach appropriate in all business contexts?
I’ve found this approach works across industries and contexts. Whether you’re in sports management, technology, retail, or services, people respond to authentic offers of help. The key is adapting the specific language to fit your industry while maintaining the core principle of service-first thinking.
Q: When is the right time to ask the second question about connections?
Timing matters. I recommend establishing a giving relationship first. This might happen in a single conversation or over multiple interactions. Once you’ve demonstrated genuine interest in helping, most people welcome the opportunity to reciprocate. The ask should feel natural, not transactional.
Q: How do I measure the success of this approach?
While stories like my dinner being paid for are tangible examples, the true measure comes in the quality of your network and opportunities over time. Track the strength of your relationships, the doors that open unexpectedly, and how often people reach out to you with opportunities. Success with this approach compounds over time as your reputation for being helpful spreads.
