Growing up, I was fortunate to have a grandfather who distilled life’s complexities into simple wisdom. His philosophy on happiness has guided me throughout my career and personal life, becoming a cornerstone of how I approach each day. According to him, you only need three things to be happy in life—and I’ve found his advice to be remarkably accurate.
My grandfather’s wisdom wasn’t complicated or wrapped in flowery language. It was straightforward and practical: find the right spouse, love your work, and invest in a good bed. These three elements correspond to the three major time blocks of our lives—family, work, and sleep—each consuming roughly a third of our existence.
The Right Spouse: Your Gateway to Family Happiness
The first key to happiness, my grandfather insisted, is finding the right intimate partner. This wasn’t just about romantic fulfillment—it was strategic. Your spouse serves as the liaison between you and your extended family. They shape family dynamics, influence relationships, and set the tone for family gatherings.
When you choose wisely, this relationship enhances your family life. Choose poorly, and you’ve potentially compromised a third of your life experience. I’ve seen this play out countless times in my own life and in the lives of the athletes and entrepreneurs I’ve coached. No amount of professional success can compensate for discord at home.
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Loving Your Work: Beyond the Paycheck
The second element my grandfather emphasized was finding work you genuinely love. This wasn’t just idealistic advice—it was mathematical. We spend approximately one-third of our adult lives working. That’s too much time to waste on something that doesn’t bring you joy or purpose.
In my career journey from sports agency to entrepreneurship and coaching, I’ve experienced both sides of this equation. When I’ve been aligned with my purpose and passion, work energizes me. When I’ve strayed from that alignment, even success felt hollow.
Finding work you love doesn’t mean every day is perfect. It means:
- Your core values align with your daily activities
- You feel your contributions matter
- The challenges energize rather than deplete you
- You can envision yourself growing in this path
Many people chase titles or paychecks, only to discover they’ve sacrificed a third of their life to something that doesn’t fulfill them. True success comes when your work feels like a calling rather than just a career.
The Best Bed You Can Find: The Underrated Key
My grandfather’s third piece of advice often surprises people, but it’s perhaps the most practical: buy the best bed you can afford. We spend about 26 years of our lives sleeping—another third of our existence. The quality of that sleep directly impacts our health, cognition, emotional regulation, and overall well-being.
I often tell people that my most important mentor is my “sleep mentor.” This usually gets a laugh, but I’m serious. Quality sleep is the foundation that supports everything else in life. It’s the recovery period that allows us to show up fully for both our families and our work.
When I prioritize sleep quality, I notice:
- Better decision-making capabilities
- Increased emotional resilience
- Higher energy levels throughout the day
- Improved creative thinking and problem-solving
In our hustle culture, sleep is often the first thing sacrificed. My grandfather’s wisdom reminds us that this is a poor bargain. Investing in sleep isn’t self-indulgent—it’s self-preservation.
The Mathematics of Happiness
What I love about my grandfather’s formula is its simplicity and mathematical precision. By focusing on these three areas, you’re essentially optimizing your entire life experience. If you get all three right, you’ve set yourself up for happiness across your entire existence.
Conversely, if you neglect any of these areas, you’re potentially compromising a significant portion of your life. I’ve seen highly successful people who are miserable because they’ve excelled in one area while neglecting the others.
As I coach entrepreneurs and athletes, I often bring them back to these fundamentals. Success isn’t just about achievement—it’s about creating a life that feels good across all dimensions. My grandfather understood this long before work-life balance became a buzzword.
His three-part formula remains my north star. When life gets complicated or decisions become difficult, I return to these basics: Am I nurturing my key relationship? Do I love my work? Am I protecting my sleep? When the answer to all three is yes, I find I’m living in alignment with what truly matters.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do you know if you’ve found the “right spouse” as your grandfather mentioned?
The right partner typically shares your core values, supports your growth, and creates more peace than chaos in your life. They don’t need to be perfect, but there should be mutual respect and a sense that you’re better together than apart. Most importantly, they should enhance your family relationships rather than complicate them.
Q: What if someone can’t immediately find work they love?
Finding work you love is often a journey rather than an immediate destination. Start by identifying elements you enjoy in your current role and try to expand those aspects. Consider what activities put you in a state of flow, then gradually shift your career in that direction. Sometimes loving your work comes from changing your perspective or finding purpose in unexpected places.
Q: Besides buying a good bed, what other sleep habits would you recommend?
While a quality mattress is foundational, consistent sleep schedules, a cool dark room, limiting screen time before bed, and creating a wind-down routine all contribute to better sleep. I also recommend tracking your sleep quality to understand what factors help or hinder your rest. Remember that sleep needs vary by individual, so find what works for your body.
Q: How do you balance these three areas when they sometimes conflict with each other?
Balance doesn’t mean equal attention at all times—it means appropriate attention when needed. There will be seasons when work demands more focus or when family needs take priority. The key is ensuring that no area is chronically neglected. Regular check-ins with yourself about all three domains can help you make adjustments before any area becomes problematic.
Q: Can this three-part formula work for someone who chooses not to have a spouse or partner?
Absolutely. While my grandfather framed it around a spouse, the underlying principle is about having meaningful personal connections. For those who don’t have or want a spouse, the first third could focus on nurturing close friendships, family relationships, or community connections. The essential element is having fulfilling relationships that bring joy to that portion of your life.
