Change shows up whether we invite it or not. The clock shifts. The market shifts. People shift. My stance is simple: stop yelling at the ocean and start choosing your response. That is the only path that keeps you sane, effective, and moving forward.
We just flipped from daylight saving time to standard time. I don’t like it. I don’t know anyone who does. Yet here we are. That’s the point: some changes are forced. We can complain, or we can decide how to live with them. I’ve led turnarounds, run companies, and coached leaders for years. The pattern never changes—resisting reality drains power. Accepting it restores it.
“When waves of change crash on your shore…”
My Core Belief About Change
We have far less control than we think, and far more control than we use. That tension is where wise leaders live. It’s also where peace lives. When we confuse what we can and can’t control, we suffer. When we sort that out, we act with strength.
On a family trip, one of my grandsons—maybe three or four—saw the ocean for the first time. The waves scared him. He stood there and screamed at them. The waves didn’t care. They just kept rolling in. Cute at first, then tiring. Adults do a cleaner version of the same thing. We push back on things that don’t move.
“The waves just kept coming.”
That image stuck with me. It’s a mirror for how many of us handle change. We raise our voice, we resist, we act like volume equals authority. It doesn’t. Waves don’t respond to shouting. Companies, markets, and time changes don’t either.
The Only Framework That Works Under Pressure
There’s an old prayer that captures a powerful operating system for life and leadership. I use it often, especially when the tide turns fast.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
That last line is the hinge. Wisdom to know the difference. A toddler can’t tell. But you and I can. We don’t have an excuse. If we lack that wisdom, we should build it. If we have it, we should act on it.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
As a connector and coach to CEOs, I see two buckets every week. One holds the things that own us. The other holds the things we own. Knowing which is which changes outcomes.
- Owned by the tide: time changes, market cycles, other people’s choices, past mistakes, unexpected shocks.
- Owned by us: our calendar, our focus, our response, our pace, our standards, our next step.
The moment we put a problem in the wrong bucket, we lose leverage. We either make excuses, or we try to muscle a wave. Neither works for long.
There’s also a practical reason this matters. Energy is finite. Leaders burn energy on what they can’t move and then say they’re exhausted. No surprise. Direct the fire where it makes a difference. Acceptance is not surrender. It’s strategic. It frees up strength for action where action counts.
But What About Fighting for Change?
Of course we should push for change where it’s needed. Courage matters. Even more, it needs aim. Charging at the tide is not brave. It’s wasteful. Charge where your effort lands a punch.
Here’s a simple test I use with clients and myself:
- Can I take a step today that changes this? If yes, act.
- Is the only step yelling, blaming, or stalling? If yes, accept and redirect.
That test removes drama. It also builds momentum. Momentum beats noise every time.
Choose Your Response, Not Your Weather
Time will change again. Waves will roll in again. Boards will surprise you. Teams will disappoint you. Opportunities will pop up at the worst time. None of that decides your day. Your response does.
So here’s my call to action for this week: pick one wave that’s been stealing your focus. Stop screaming at it. Name it. Accept it. Then pick one thing you can change and do it today. Repeat tomorrow.
Stay frosty. Keep your head clear. Don’t give your power to the tide. Take it back with wisdom, courage, and steady action. The waves will keep coming. So will you.
