We spend hours building “connections” with people we’ve never met. That’s fine—until it becomes an excuse for avoiding real conversation. My take is simple: digital ties don’t become trusted relationships until you sit across a table.
This week proved it again. A long-time LinkedIn friend, Dave White, reached out to say he’d be in town and asked if we could meet. We’d traded comments and messages for years. We’d never shaken hands. We fixed that over a meal, and it reminded me why I keep pushing leaders to get off the feed and into the room.
“It’s TGIF, and I’m totally grateful it’s Friday.”
“When was the last time a LinkedIn connection that you’ve known for many years but never met reached out to say they’d be in your city and asked if you might have time to meet in person?”
Why In-Person Still Wins
Dave and I share a lot: we coach CEOs, we care about serving people, we’re family men, and we both geek out on fitness. He’s also an NCAA men’s basketball ref and a pastor. We come from different coasts and different callings, yet the moment we met, the surface-level profile blur turned into a living person with a story.
“Like me, he coaches CEOs, is a fitness fanatic, loves serving people, has grown children and grandchildren, and has been married for over thirty nine years.”
“Unlike me, he lives in California, is an NCAA men’s basketball ref, and a pastor.”
Face-to-face time exposes what profiles can’t—how someone listens, laughs, wrestles with ideas, and shows up. That’s where trust starts. As a “MacGyver” for CEOs and a guy who’s led turnarounds and run companies, I’ve learned that trust shortens cycles, cuts noise, and sparks real momentum.
Virtual tools are useful. They help us keep in touch and share ideas. But let’s not kid ourselves. Your best collaborations won’t happen inside a comment thread. They’re born in real conversations where curiosity beats posturing and people lean in.
What Gratitude Does for Leaders
I walked away from lunch grateful. Not the polite kind—the kind that resets your priorities. Gratitude fuels better leadership. It makes you more present, less defensive, and more generous. Leaders who practice it hire better, coach better, and build teams that want to stay.
“We had a blast sharing a meal before he had to get back to his conference. I’m so grateful for intentional collaborators like Dave.”
There’s a quiet challenge in that last line. Who are you grateful for today? If no names come to mind, that’s the signal: you may be swimming in connections and starving for relationships.
The Counterpoint—and Why It Falls Short
Some leaders argue they don’t have time for coffee meetings or travel. I get it. Calendars are tight. But efficiency without depth breeds shallow results. The “time saved” often shows up later as friction, confusion, or costly misalignment. A single hour in person can prevent months of sideways effort.
Try This Next Week
If you want more traction and less noise, turn a few digital ties into real relationships. Start small and be intentional.
- Pick three long-time online contacts you respect. Send a short invite to meet in person or on video—no agenda, just curiosity.
- Share a meal, not a deck. Ask about their story before you share yours.
- Listen for values, not just victories. That’s where alignment lives.
- Offer a concrete way to help within seven days. Keep it simple.
- Follow up with gratitude. Name what you learned.
These small moves turn “networking” into relationships that actually move the needle.
My Stand
Connections are cheap; relationships are earned. The best leaders don’t measure influence by follower counts. They measure it by the number of people they can call, meet, and build with—today.
“Who are you grateful for?”
Here’s my challenge: choose one person you’ve known online for years and make it real this week. Send the note. Book the time. Share a meal. Then pay attention to what shifts—trust, ideas, and momentum tend to appear when we stop hiding behind screens.
I’m grateful for intentional collaborators like Dave White. Let’s stop collecting contacts and start building relationships that matter.
