Spring may be on the calendar, but some days still sting. The cold jolt reminded me of a tougher truth: too many smart people still chase validation instead of impact. I’ve done it. I know the trap. And I’m done with it.
Here’s my stance: seeking approval is a slow poison for entrepreneurs and leaders. It masks insecurity and lures us into choices that look impressive but drain our purpose. Impact wins. Every time.
Validation Feels Safe—Impact Changes Lives
Recently, I spoke with a young professional. Great credentials. Full-ride to a top university. Strong work history. He’s entrepreneurial and loves risk. Yet he was targeting big, prestigious firms. The kind that bury people in meetings, policies, and career theater.
Why? He admitted it: he’s a perfectionist who needs validation. That hit me. Years ago, I did the same thing. Even after my first business turnaround in my late twenties, I obsessed over how I measured up to the big ad shops—BBDO and the rest. I thought those names would make me feel enough.
“I think because I’m a perfectionist and I need to be validated.”
Those firms do great work. But for someone wired like him, and like me, the grind would crush the spark. The pull of prestige can hide that truth. It did for me.
A Personal Wake-Up Call
When I was running an ad agency, we turned it around. I was young, leading, and learning fast. Still, I kept comparing myself to giants. That comparison almost pushed me into a career I would have hated. Bureaucracy would have smothered the part of me that builds, fixes, and grows.
Here is the shift that saved me: serve people, not your ego. When I set my focus on helping others win, the need for approval faded. Service is simple and sharp. Approval is needy and loud.
“Seek to serve people more than seeking their approval or validation.”
Try doing both at once, and you’ll fail. One pulls your eyes inward. The other looks outward. Choose the second.
But Don’t Dismiss Big Companies
Let’s be fair. Large firms can offer credibility and learning. They can harden your skills and expose you to complex work. For some, that’s the right lane. But if your wiring is entrepreneurial, the trade-off can be steep. Meetings, layers, and slow moves can dull your drive.
I see many young founders skip the chase for status and go build. They accept the mess and the risk. They bet on impact. And they grow fast because they are not waiting for a hand on the shoulder to say, “You’re worthy.” They act like it.
Practical Shifts That Change the Game
If you feel pulled by recognition, try small moves that tilt you toward service and outcomes. These steps are simple and powerful when done daily.
- Ask one client or teammate, “What’s the result you need this week?” Then deliver it.
- Track impact, not applause. Write down wins you helped create, not likes or titles.
- Pick one hard, useful task each morning. Finish it before checking social feedback.
- Seek mentors who value outcomes over optics. Borrow their habits.
- Say no to one meeting that exists to impress, not to improve.
These choices build confidence the honest way. You earn it by helping others win. That’s a loop worth repeating.
The Question That Cuts Through Noise
“Are we seeking validation or impact?”
When I ask that, everything clears up. Titles stop mattering. Fancy logos lose shine. What matters is whether customers, teams, and communities are better because we showed up.
Impact is measurable. It looks like jobs created, clients served, products shipped, families helped, and teams lifted. Validation is slippery. It looks like chasing prestige, waiting for permission, and stacking resume lines that impress no one who counts.
The young pro I met has a bright path. He can learn anywhere. But his gifts will thrive where he can build and move. If that sounds like you, take the hint I wish I had taken earlier.
Choose service over status. Choose outcomes over optics. Choose impact over applause.
Final Thought
I co-host the Anything But Typical podcast for a reason. People are made to do meaningful work, not just collect gold stars. Pick the harder, better path. Lead with service. Let results speak. And if you catch yourself craving approval, redirect that energy into helping someone else win today.
Stop waiting to be picked. Pick yourself. Go make a dent. Stay frosty.
