Pattie Ehsaei’s new book, “Never Date a Broke Dude,” has quickly become a bestseller on Amazon, topping the charts for dating advice and financial freedom. The book’s success reflects a growing trend of women seeking financial independence and empowerment in their personal lives. Ehsaei, known as the Duchess of Decorum on TikTok, wrote the book inspired by her own family’s tragic story.
When she was just seven years old, her family fled Iran to escape an oppressive regime. In America, her parents struggled to rebuild their lives from scratch. Her father’s businesses failed, and her mother, despite her qualifications, couldn’t find work.
Over time, Ehsaei’s mother lost her sense of purpose and power in the relationship. She would often whisper to her daughter, “Always make your own money. No matter how much your husband makes.
Whoever controls your money, controls you.”
Tragically, due to her lack of financial independence, Ehsaei’s mother felt forced to tolerate her husband’s infidelity. The emotional weight crushed her, leading to depression and ultimately, a devastating end to both their lives. Through this painful experience, Ehsaei learned that financial independence isn’t just about money.
It’s about freedom, self-respect, safety, and the power to walk away when things turn toxic. In her book, Ehsaei provides practical advice on how to achieve financial independence in relationships. She discusses the concept of a ‘broke dude,’ defined not by the size of one’s bank account but by a lack of ambition and work ethic.
Financial freedom through Ehsaei’s insights
She also offers guidance on navigating financial aspects of relationships, such as maintaining separate accounts and recognizing signs of financial abuse. Ehsaei emphasizes five key financial truths every woman needs to know:
1.Make your own money, no matter how much your partner earns.
2. Have separate savings in a bank account in your name only.
3. Know the red flags, such as a partner who refuses to talk openly about money or controls all the finances.
4.Educate yourself financially, learning how to budget, invest, and build credit.
5. Know what you own, including assets, accounts, and legal documents.
Ehsaei’s approach is both humorous and empowering, aiming to help women thrive rather than just survive. Her message is clear: financial freedom is key to a fulfilling and secure future. The book’s success reflects its resonance with many women who are seeking to take control of their financial lives and make choices based on love, not necessity or fear.
As Ehsaei puts it, “Never Date a Broke Dude” is not just a guide — it’s a mission, a blueprint for women to recognize red flags early and never feel trapped in relationships because of money.