I’ve seen it countless times in my coaching practice – talented executives who sabotage their own success through negative self-talk. Reading about the concept of “Hedimentals” recently struck a chord with me, reminding me of the internal battles many leaders face, including my own.
Eight years ago, when I stepped into my first CEO role, my mind became my worst enemy. The thoughts were relentless: “You’re not ready to be a CEO. You need to be a number two first.” For others, especially women in leadership, the self-talk often includes devastating false choices like, “You can’t be a good mom if you have a big job.”
The Monster in Your Mind
This negative inner voice – what the Hedimentals concept calls “the monster” – can be paralyzing. It whispers lies that feel like truth, creating artificial limitations that have no basis in reality. The monster feeds on our insecurities and amplifies our fears.
What makes this monster so dangerous is how personal it feels. It knows exactly which buttons to push because it’s created from our own deepest fears and insecurities. For me, it questioned my readiness and capability. For others I’ve coached, it might focus on:
- Imposter syndrome (“Everyone will find out I don’t belong here”)
- Fear of failure (“I’ll make a mistake and ruin everything”)
- Perfectionism (“If I can’t do it flawlessly, I shouldn’t do it at all”)
- False dichotomies (“Success in one area means failure in another”)
These thoughts aren’t just unpleasant – they actively prevent us from becoming the leaders we’re capable of being and building the organizations we envision.
Transforming the Monster into the Maverick
The powerful insight from Hedimentals is that we need to transform this monster into what they call “the maverick” – the confident, capable part of ourselves that knows we can rise to challenges.
This transformation isn’t about eliminating self-doubt entirely. Rather, it’s about recognizing negative self-talk for what it is – just thoughts, not facts – and choosing to listen to our more empowered inner voice instead.
Through my work with executives and founders, I’ve found several strategies that help make this shift:
- Name the monster – identify your specific patterns of negative self-talk
- Question the evidence – ask “Is this actually true?” when negative thoughts arise
- Create counter-evidence – list your qualifications, achievements, and strengths
- Develop maverick phrases – craft positive alternatives to your common negative thoughts
The most successful leaders I’ve worked with practice these techniques regularly, not just when facing major decisions or challenges.
The Real Cost of Negative Self-Talk
We often underestimate how much our internal dialogue shapes our external reality. When we let the monster run wild, we make smaller decisions, take fewer risks, and ultimately create smaller impacts than we’re capable of.
I’ve watched brilliant executives turn down promotions, avoid public speaking, or fail to advocate for their ideas – all because of what they were telling themselves. The cost isn’t just personal; organizations and society lose out on valuable leadership and innovation.
This negative self-talk particularly impacts underrepresented groups in leadership. Women and minorities often face both external biases and heightened internal doubts, creating a double barrier to advancement.
Building a New Leadership Mindset
Transforming your self-talk isn’t just about feeling better – it’s about becoming the leader you’re meant to be. When you quiet the monster and amplify the maverick, you make decisions from a place of confidence rather than fear.
This shift allows you to build organizations that reflect your true vision rather than your insecurities. You hire better, delegate more effectively, take appropriate risks, and create cultures where others can thrive.
The leaders who make the biggest positive impacts aren’t necessarily the most naturally confident – they’re the ones who’ve learned to manage their self-talk.
If you’re struggling with negative self-talk in your leadership role, know that you’re not alone. Even the most accomplished executives battle these thoughts. The difference is in how you respond to them.
Start paying attention to your internal dialogue. When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, pause and ask whether this thought serves your goals and values. Then consciously choose a more empowering perspective.
Your potential as a leader isn’t limited by your experience, background, or circumstances nearly as much as it’s limited by what you tell yourself. Turn your monster into a maverick, and watch what becomes possible.
