I had a profound realization recently that completely shifted my perspective on success and family. When I’m on my deathbed looking back at my life, my children won’t be tallying up my book sales, counting my mortgage payments, or admiring my bank account. They’ll be remembering whether I was physically present for the moments that mattered to them.
This truth hit me like a ton of bricks. As someone who’s built a career helping others achieve financial freedom, I’ve always justified my work schedule and travel as being “for the family.” I would tell my daughter, “I’m traveling the world and I’m doing it for you, sweetie.” Her response? A simple but powerful “No, you’re not.”
The Wake-Up Call
Children have an incredible ability to cut through our adult rationalizations. My daughter’s honesty forced me to confront an uncomfortable truth: I had already achieved enough financial success to provide security for my family. The bills were paid. We had what we needed. My continued pursuit of more was serving my ambitions, not my family’s needs.
This conversation became a turning point in how I approach the balance between work and family. I realized that showing up – being physically and mentally present – is the true game changer in parenting.
What Really Matters to Our Children
When we think about creating a legacy, many of us default to financial achievements. We want to leave our children with:
- Financial security and wealth
- A model of professional success
- Material comforts and opportunities
These goals aren’t wrong, but they’re incomplete. What children truly value and remember are the moments we were there for them:
- Attending their school performances and sports games
- Being present for dinner conversations
- Making time for vacations and family traditions
- Showing up when they face challenges or celebrate victories
Finding the True Balance
As investors and entrepreneurs, we often justify our hustle as being for our families. We tell ourselves that one more deal, one more business trip, one more late night at the office is building something important for them. But at some point – and this point comes sooner than we think – we cross a threshold where more money doesn’t equal more happiness or security for our families.
The real challenge is recognizing when we’ve reached “enough” financially, and then having the courage to prioritize presence over additional prosperity. This doesn’t mean abandoning ambition or success – it means redefining what success looks like.
For me, success now includes being able to say “yes” when my family needs me. It means creating a lifestyle where I can be physically present for the moments that matter, not just financially providing for them.
The Lifestyle Investor Approach to Family
The principles I teach about lifestyle investing apply perfectly to family life. Just as we want investments that provide returns without consuming our time and energy, we should structure our work lives to provide for our families without sacrificing our presence in their lives.
This might mean:
- Focusing on passive income streams that require less active management
- Setting clear boundaries around work hours and travel
- Being intentional about scheduling family time with the same priority as business meetings
- Measuring success by memories created, not just money earned
The Ultimate Return on Investment
When I think about the returns that matter most, they’re not measured in dollars but in relationships. The dividend of being present is paid in trust, connection, and love – currencies far more valuable than cash.
My daughter’s honest feedback was a gift. It reminded me that while financial freedom creates opportunity, it’s what we do with that freedom that creates a meaningful life. I’ve adjusted my priorities accordingly, making sure that my pursuit of success doesn’t come at the cost of the relationships that make that success worthwhile.
At the end of our lives, none of us will wish we’d closed one more deal or made one more dollar. We’ll wish for more time with the people we love. That realization has transformed how I approach both my business and my family life, and I hope it might do the same for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do you know when you’ve reached “enough” financially?
Financial “enough” varies for everyone, but generally it’s when your basic needs and security are covered without constant worry. For most families, this means having reliable income that covers expenses, some savings for emergencies, and investments for the future. When additional money no longer significantly improves your family’s quality of life, you’ve likely reached “enough.”
Q: Can you be successful professionally while still being present for your family?
Absolutely. The key is creating systems and boundaries that allow your business to thrive without consuming all your time and attention. This might mean delegating more, focusing on passive income streams, or simply being more efficient during work hours so you can be fully present during family time. Success doesn’t have to come at the expense of relationships.
Q: What are some practical ways to be more present with your children?
Start by putting away digital devices during family time. Schedule regular activities that your children enjoy and make them non-negotiable on your calendar. Ask meaningful questions about their day and listen actively to their answers. Attend their important events without being distracted by work. Even small moments of full attention can make a big difference in how connected your children feel to you.
Q: How do you handle guilt about past absences from family events?
Acknowledge the past choices without dwelling on them. Have honest conversations with your family about your regrets and your commitment to change. Remember that children are remarkably forgiving when they see genuine effort to be present now. Focus on creating new memories rather than lamenting missed opportunities. The best time to change your priorities is always now.
Q: What if your work genuinely requires extensive travel or long hours?
If your current work situation makes family presence difficult, consider whether there are alternative career paths or business models that would better align with your family values. If a change isn’t immediately possible, look for ways to maximize quality time when you are home, involve your family in your work when appropriate, and use technology to stay connected during separations. Most importantly, be honest with yourself about whether the sacrifices are truly necessary or if they’ve become a habit.
