The concept of a “balanced life” is often misunderstood. Many people think it means dividing your 24 hours equally among work, family, health, and personal interests every single day. I’ve discovered this approach is not only impractical but can actually create more stress than harmony.
What I’ve learned through years of managing a demanding career while maintaining meaningful relationships is that balance doesn’t have to happen within each 24-hour period. Instead, it’s about honoring your values consistently, even when circumstances aren’t ideal.
Redefining Balance Through Intentional Choices
Currently, I’m in Lisbon while my son is back home in San Diego. Despite the distance and time difference, maintaining our connection remains a top priority for me. I’ve committed to a minimum of thirty minutes of FaceTime with him daily – not because some work-life balance guru told me to, but because it aligns with my personal values.
To make this happen, I keep my watch set to San Diego time. This simple practice ensures I don’t miss our scheduled calls, whether it’s an afternoon check-in for me (morning for him) or connecting at 1 or 2 AM my time before he goes to bed. The time difference is challenging, but the consistent contact is non-negotiable.
This approach requires intentionality. Each morning during meditation, I take a few moments to consider:
- What percentage of my energy should go to each priority today?
- How can I honor my core values despite today’s constraints?
- What would make this day successful in terms of what matters most?
This brief reflection helps me set realistic expectations for the day ahead rather than trying to achieve perfect balance in every area.
The Myth of Daily Balance
The pressure to maintain equal attention across all life domains every day is not only unrealistic but can lead to constant feelings of failure. Some days will naturally lean heavily toward work, while others might focus on family or health. The key is ensuring that over time, all your values receive adequate attention.
When I’m traveling for business, my professional responsibilities take center stage. However, I’ve created systems to maintain connections with my family even during these periods. When I return home, I can shift more attention to in-person time with loved ones.
This approach has freed me from the guilt that comes with trying to do everything perfectly every day. Instead, I focus on consistency in the areas that matter most while allowing flexibility in how and when I fulfill these commitments.
Creating Your Own Definition of Balance
What works for me might not work for you. The beauty of this approach is that you can define balance according to your unique values and circumstances. For some, daily exercise might be non-negotiable. For others, dedicated work blocks without interruption might be essential.
The process starts with clarity about your values. Once you know what matters most, you can create systems that ensure these priorities receive consistent attention, even when life gets hectic.
For me, family connections, particularly with my son, rank at the top. That’s why I’ve built my schedule around our FaceTime calls, even when it means staying up late or waking up early across time zones.
Balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention. By taking those few moments each morning to consider what you want to get out of the day ahead, you can make choices that align with your values rather than reacting to whatever comes your way.
This approach has transformed how I view productivity and fulfillment. Instead of chasing an impossible standard of daily balance, I focus on consistency in what matters most while allowing flexibility in how I get there. The result isn’t perfect balance, but something better: a life that honors what I truly value, one intentional day at a time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How can I determine which values should take priority in my life?
Start by reflecting on what brings you the most fulfillment and what you’d regret neglecting. For me, family connections—especially with my son—are non-negotiable. Your priorities might differ, but the key is identifying what truly matters to you rather than what others expect. Once you’ve identified these core values, you can build systems to honor them consistently.
Q: What if my job demands make it impossible to maintain daily contact with family?
Quality often matters more than quantity. Even brief, consistent connections can maintain strong relationships. I’ve found that scheduled FaceTime calls, even for just 15 minutes twice a day, keep me connected with my son across time zones. The consistency of these touchpoints often matters more than their duration. Consider creative solutions like voice messages, quick video calls, or even shared digital activities that can work around demanding schedules.
Q: How do you avoid feeling guilty when work takes over for extended periods?
Guilt often comes from trying to achieve perfect balance every day. Instead, I view balance as cyclical—some periods will naturally lean toward work, while others allow more family or personal time. The key is having minimum standards that you won’t compromise (like my daily FaceTime calls) while accepting that perfect equilibrium isn’t realistic. Communicate with loved ones about intense work periods so they understand the temporary nature of the imbalance.
Q: What’s your morning meditation process for setting daily priorities?
My morning reflection is simple but powerful. I take a few quiet moments to consider what percentage of my energy should go to each priority that day, based on both obligations and values. I visualize a successful day that honors my core commitments while acknowledging reality. This isn’t about creating a rigid schedule but rather setting an intention that guides my decisions throughout the day. Even just 5-10 minutes of this reflection can dramatically improve how aligned your day feels with what matters most.
Q: How do you manage time zone differences when trying to maintain family connections?
Time zone management requires both technology and planning. I always keep a watch set to my son’s time zone so I’m constantly aware of his schedule. I plan my day around our connection points rather than trying to fit them in afterward. This might mean scheduling business meetings around family calls rather than vice versa. Digital calendar reminders, world clock apps, and pre-arranged call times all help navigate the complexity of international time differences while keeping relationships strong.
