It’s winter, which means I’m back in the cold plunge. The shock wakes me up to a simple truth. Results do not bend to my will. Actions do.
My stance is clear: be ruthless about accountability for actions and let go of outcomes. That is not letting ourselves off the hook. It is the only path to peace and consistent performance. The more we chase what we cannot control, the more we suffer. The more we own what we can, the more we grow.
Chasing Outcomes Is a Trap
I’m goal driven. I’ve led turnarounds, coached CEOs, and run companies. For years, I pushed for outcomes so hard that I blurred the line between what was mine to own and what was not. That burned me out.
“I can’t control how you respond to me… Or can I will you into buying a product or service from me? No. I cannot.”
That applies to clients, teams, and even friends. You can influence. You can prepare. You can show up. But you cannot dictate a yes, a reaction, or a result.
“We can only really control two things, our attitude and our effort.”
When I tried to fix outcomes with more effort, I only drained myself. **Working harder does not fix what is not in your control.** It just makes you tired and angry.
Accountability Is Freeing, Not Restrictive
Here is the part many leaders miss. They demand accountability from others but do not live it themselves. That double standard kills trust.
“If it’s rules for me and not for thee, guess what? Your ranks aren’t really gonna respect you.”
Real leaders set the table. We start with ourselves. We ask others to hold us to the plan. We let peers, boards, and teams see the score. That is not a loss of freedom. It is a release.
“The weird thing about it is it’s freeing when we… allow others to hold us accountable.”
Why freeing? Because it strips away excuses and anxiety. It centers our energy on the few things that matter every day. It reduces the noise.
Own the Inputs, Surrender the Results
This is the shift that changed my work and my sanity. Define the outcome you want, yes. Then move your attention to the actions. Break them down. Get specific. Let others check your progress.
- Clarify the behaviors that drive the result.
- Set weekly commitments you can measure.
- Invite a peer or team to review them.
- Adjust the actions based on what you learn.
- Release attachment to the short-term result.
Lists help, but the discipline is simple. Show up. Do the work you said you would do. Track it. Improve it. Then let the chips fall. That is not passive. That is focused.
“It’s extremely freeing when we know that we gave it our best… We controlled what we can control… But we surrender what’s that outcome gonna be.”
Addressing the Pushback
Some will argue that surrender sounds soft. It is not. It is strategy. You do not stop aiming high. You stop wasting energy trying to force a timeline, a buyer’s mood, or an employee’s choice.
Another pushback: if we surrender results, won’t standards slip? No. Standards rise when leaders live accountability. Teams respond to example faster than edicts. They also respond to clarity.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
When I coach CEOs, we push hard on two levers: attitude and effort. We define the actions tied to the goal, then build public scorecards. We celebrate the inputs done well, not just the scoreboard. The funny thing is, the scoreboard usually improves.
And when it doesn’t? We still win. We learned. We refined the actions. We built trust. We protected energy for the next swing.
“Focus on what are the actions needed to get an outcome, and then allow others to hold us accountable as we’re doing those actions.”
My Cold Take on a Cold Day
Stop chasing outcomes you can’t control. Start owning actions you can. Hold yourself to them in the light. Invite others to do the same. That is how leaders grow companies, people, and themselves without losing their minds.
This week, pick one goal. Define the three actions that influence it. Share them with someone who will ask you next week what you did. Then do the work and let the result land where it lands.
Stay frosty, and stay accountable.
