I’ve always had an unusual perspective on rejection. While most people fear hearing “no,” I actually love it. Every rejection brings me closer to success, not further away. This mindset shift has been fundamental to my business approach and personal philosophy.
When I reach out to someone and get no response, that’s one “no.” If I follow up and still hear nothing, that’s two. By the third attempt, I simply say, “Hey, this obviously isn’t a good time. You may be in a meeting or on a phone call. Call me back when it is convenient.” This strategy accomplishes one of two things: it either lets someone who will never say “yes” go, or it compels interested parties to respond faster.
The Psychology Behind Rejection and Criticism
I’ve learned something profound about human behavior through my years in business: happy people don’t attack you. It’s almost physically impossible. When someone lashes out or criticizes harshly, it reveals more about their internal state than about you or your actions.
If somebody attacks you for any reason, understand they’re not happy with themselves. This realization has helped me depersonalize criticism and maintain focus on my goals despite others’ reactions.
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The Lies We Tell Ourselves
People lie to themselves constantly. I hear it all the time: “I’m doing this for my family” or “I need to make money for my family.” In my experience, this is often self-deception. The truth is simpler: take care of yourself first.
When you prioritize your own well-being, something magical happens. You become capable of pursuing:
- As many wishes per day as you want
- As many dreams per day as you desire
- Unlimited potential in both business and personal fulfillment
This isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. By ensuring your own cup is full, you have more to give to others, including your family.
Reframing Rejection as Progress
Most people view rejection as failure, but I see it differently. Each “no” is simply part of the process—a stepping stone toward the “yes” that matters. This perspective transforms rejection from something to fear into something to collect.
Consider these benefits of collecting “no’s”:
- Each rejection builds resilience
- Multiple “no’s” refine your approach
- Persistent follow-up demonstrates your commitment
- The process eliminates time-wasters from your pipeline
- You develop immunity to the emotional impact of rejection
By tracking and even celebrating rejections, you remove their power over you. I’ve found this approach particularly valuable in sales, negotiations, and building business relationships.
The Three-Contact Rule
My three-contact approach has proven remarkably effective. The first two attempts are straightforward outreach. The third contact includes an easy out for the recipient while subtly creating urgency. This technique respects others’ time while maximizing your chances of connection.
I’ve used this method to connect with high-profile clients and partners throughout my career, including during my time at Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment. The beauty of this approach is its simplicity and effectiveness regardless of who you’re contacting.
Self-Care as a Business Strategy
Too many professionals sacrifice their health, relationships, and happiness in pursuit of success. This approach is fundamentally flawed. When you’re depleted, your decision-making suffers, your creativity diminishes, and your impact lessens.
I’ve found that prioritizing self-care—physical health, mental well-being, and personal fulfillment—directly correlates with business success. This isn’t coincidental; it’s causal. When you’re at your best, you perform at your best.
The next time you face rejection or criticism, remember: each “no” brings you closer to success, attacks reflect the attacker’s unhappiness, and taking care of yourself first enables unlimited possibilities. These principles have guided my journey and can transform yours as well.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How many follow-up attempts should I make before moving on?
I recommend a three-contact approach. After the third attempt with no response, provide an easy out that respects their time while creating a final opportunity for them to engage. This balances persistence with professionalism and helps you focus your energy on prospects more likely to respond.
Q: What’s the best way to handle personal attacks in business?
Remember that happy people don’t attack others—it’s practically impossible. When someone attacks you, recognize it reflects their internal state, not your worth. Maintain your composure, respond with empathy if appropriate, and focus on solutions rather than escalating conflict. This approach preserves relationships and your mental energy.
Q: How can I overcome my fear of rejection in sales?
Start by reframing rejection as progress—each “no” brings you closer to a “yes.” Track your rejections as positive metrics rather than failures. Set rejection goals (like collecting 10 “no’s” daily) to build resilience. With practice, you’ll develop immunity to rejection’s emotional impact and focus instead on the valuable data each interaction provides.
Q: What does “take care of yourself first” actually mean in practice?
It means prioritizing your physical health, mental well-being, and personal fulfillment. This includes adequate sleep, nutrition, exercise, stress management, and activities that bring you joy. When you’re operating at your best, you have more energy, creativity, and resilience to share with others—including family and clients. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s the foundation for sustainable success.
Q: How do you maintain persistence without becoming annoying to potential clients?
The key is adding value with each contact, varying your approach, and respecting boundaries. Space out your follow-ups appropriately (typically 3-7 days apart). Personalize each message with relevant insights or information. By the third contact, provide an easy exit that respects their time while leaving the door open. This balanced approach demonstrates both persistence and professionalism.
