I’ve always been fascinated by what separates the truly exceptional from the merely good. What makes someone become the Michael Jordan, Bruce Lee, or Kobe Bryant of their field? Recently, I’ve been studying Myron Golden’s approach to mastery and success, and his “Be-Do-Have” formula has completely shifted my perspective on achievement.
This isn’t just another motivational concept—it’s a profound framework that explains why so many of us struggle despite working incredibly hard. The truth is, most of us have been approaching success backward our entire lives.
The Backward Approach Most People Take
We’ve all heard the advice: “If what you’re doing isn’t working, try harder.” Golden calls this one of the worst pieces of advice possible. Think about it—putting more effort, energy, and time into something that’s already proven not to work makes little sense.
Most people focus on the “having” part first. We want the success, the money, the recognition. When that doesn’t come, we look at what successful people are doing and try to copy their actions. But here’s the problem: we can’t do what they’re doing because we haven’t become who they are.
If you don’t like the output, change the input.
This simple scientific formula for transformation is at the heart of Golden’s philosophy. And it starts with identity—with being.
Identity: The Foundation of All Achievement
According to Golden, one of our biggest problems is not knowing who we truly are. Most of us operate from what he calls a “lie-dentity”—our “notness.” This is the collection of all the things people have told us we’re not throughout our lives: not good enough, not smart enough, not talented enough.
In response, many of us create a “my-identity”—a fake identity that’s better than the lie-identity but still not our true self. We spend our lives trying to prove we’re better than what others said we weren’t.
The only place to get our true identity is from what Golden calls the “ultimate identity”—God, the “I am that I am.” When we understand who we truly are, we don’t have to prove anything. We can simply walk in that identity.
I’ve seen this play out in my own life. For years, I tried to be what others expected, constantly comparing myself to colleagues and competitors. The freedom came when I finally embraced my unique strengths and stopped trying to be someone else.
The Gap Between Potential and Reality
In each area of the Be-Do-Have formula, there exists a gap between where we are and where we could be:
- In our being (identity), there’s a gap between who we think we are and who we truly are
- In our doing (activity), there’s a gap between what we’re currently doing and what we could be doing
- In our having (property), there’s a gap between what we currently have and what we could have
The key insight is that we fill these gaps in a specific order, using three powerful tools:
- We fill the identity gap through intentionality
- We fill the activity gap through ingenuity
- We fill the property gap through intensity
Intentionality: The Master Key
Golden believes the number one distinction between those who succeed and those who struggle is focus. Successful people hyperfocus on intention and ignore distraction, while those who struggle do the opposite.
What’s the difference? Intention is anything that moves the needle in favor of your purpose, productivity, personal development, or profit. Distraction is anything that doesn’t.
I’ve found this to be true in my own work. When I’m intentional about my growth and focus on becoming more—more knowledgeable, more skilled, more disciplined—my actions naturally improve. I don’t have to force myself to do the right things; they flow from who I’m becoming.
The Disruption That Always Follows
One of the most valuable insights from Golden’s teaching is that disruption always follows intention. When you start taking new actions because you’re becoming more of yourself, the first thing you’ll experience is disruption.
This explains why so many people give up just when they’re on the verge of breakthrough. They interpret the disruption as evidence that they’re on the wrong path, when it’s actually confirmation they’re growing.
Golden shares how he went 18 months without making a sale when he first started in sales. But he kept refining his approach through ingenuity, and eventually became the top salesperson in his office month after month. The difference? He ran out of all the ways that wouldn’t work to make a sale. All he had left were ways that would.
Most people don’t go through enough iterations of anything to discover the thing that would work.
The Momentum That Changes Everything
As you become more intentional about your identity and more ingenious in your activity, momentum begins to build. Your “being” gains positive momentum first, which eventually impacts your “doing,” which finally transforms your “having.”
This process doesn’t happen overnight. It requires patience and persistence. But as Golden’s friend says, “Eventually is undefeated.”
The ultimate goal isn’t to be better than others—it’s to be better than you’ve ever been, perpetually. That’s how you become the best of the best in whatever arena you choose.
I’m implementing these principles in my own life and business, focusing first on who I’m becoming rather than what I’m doing or what I want to have. The shift has been profound, and I’m seeing results that seemed impossible before.
The Be-Do-Have formula isn’t just another success strategy—it’s a complete paradigm shift that aligns with how we’re designed to function. When we get the order right, everything changes.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How is the Be-Do-Have formula different from other success frameworks?
Most success frameworks focus primarily on actions and results. The Be-Do-Have formula recognizes that sustainable success starts with identity transformation. It acknowledges that you cannot consistently do what’s necessary for success until you become the person who naturally takes those actions.
Q: What does Myron Golden mean by “lie-dentity”?
A “lie-dentity” refers to the false self-concept formed from negative messages we’ve received throughout life. It’s all the things people have told us we’re not or can’t be. Golden argues this false identity limits our potential and must be replaced with our true identity before we can achieve significant success.
Q: How long does it typically take to see results with this approach?
The timeline varies for each person, but Golden emphasizes that transformation happens in stages. Identity shifts come first, followed by changes in activity, and finally results. The process requires patience as momentum builds gradually. Some people might see small results quickly, while major breakthroughs often come after persistent application over months or years.
Q: Can this formula be applied to any area of life?
Yes, the Be-Do-Have formula can be applied to virtually any domain—business, relationships, health, skills development, or personal growth. The principles of identity transformation, intentional action, and persistent refinement work across all areas where meaningful achievement is desired.
Q: What’s the most common mistake people make when trying to implement this formula?
The most common mistake is trying to start with “doing” rather than “being.” Many people attempt to force themselves to take actions they’re not yet capable of sustaining because they haven’t addressed the identity level first. Another common error is giving up during the disruption phase that inevitably follows new intentions, mistaking temporary challenges for permanent failure.