People keep asking why rich people act like a-holes. Here’s my take. Money doesn’t turn anyone into a monster. It magnifies who they already are. The real problem is a scarcity mindset mixed with unhealed wounds, not wealth itself. My stance is simple: wealth built through value creation, service, and boundaries lifts people. Wealth built through deception and coercion hurts people—and it shows.
The Core Issue Isn’t Money—It’s Scarcity
Some folks grind to prove someone wrong. They chase money to fill an empty space. That void never fills. I’ve seen the “whatever it takes” attitude split in two directions. One path is resourcefulness. The other is stepping on people. Only one of those creates lasting wealth and a life worth living.
“It’s not personal. It’s business.”
That phrase is what people say right before they make it very personal. Business should be human. Exchange creates wealth when it solves problems and serves people. That’s the game I play.
Abundance Beats Scarcity Every Time
Scarcity says profit is proof of trickery. Abundance says profit is proof of value. Both are lenses. I believe most people who build real wealth do it by helping, not by taking.
- Scarcity: deception, coercion, overpromising, poor delivery, extraction.
- Abundance: service, problem-solving, collaboration, long-term value.
Competition can push standards higher. But pure “kill the other guy” energy poisons culture. I wrote about “coopetition” in Killing Sacred Cows. Compete to raise the bar. Cooperate to grow the pie.
Boundaries Aren’t Rudeness—They’re Wisdom
Some wealthy people get tagged as jerks when they’re just protecting their time. Adam Grant’s Give and Take explains it well. The top givers are selective. They say yes with intention. The bottom givers say yes to everything and burn out. If you say yes to every request, you say no to what matters.
My Confession: Money Once Made Me Worse
I’ve been the guy who thought status deserved special treatment. I once stewed because a valet didn’t park my Bentley out front. My wife looked at me and asked what was wrong with me. She was right. I hadn’t healed old wounds. I believed more money would fix emptiness inside. It didn’t.
Therapy helped: somatic work, EFT, timeline therapy. I learned to design a life, not chase a bank balance. Depth and harmony beat “more.” I set boundaries. I chose family time. I built routines that help me stay present. Money is a magnifying glass.
“Love people and use money.”
If you flip that, money will expose it fast.
Collaboration Builds Real Wealth
I licensed my book What Would the Rockefellers Do? so other advisers could use it to help their clients. We added forwards, QR codes, and let them benefit. People asked why I helped “competition.” Because the market is big and broken. Nine out of ten policies are poorly designed. I can’t fix that alone. All ships rise with the tide.
I also learn from friends who live abundantly. Reagan connects, uplifts, and shares ideas freely. Justin Donald sends referrals and teaches generously. Michael Scoville sees people’s potential and helps them step into it. These are wealthy men who give first and often.
Stop Projecting—Start Learning
It’s easy to hate from the cheap seats. It’s harder to ask, “What can I learn here?” Many people want a wealthy person’s resources, but the real gold is their resourcefulness. Ideas and relationships create money. If you only chase their cash, you miss the engine that made it.
- Mental capital: ideas, strategies, tools, insights.
- Relationship capital: people, networks, introductions.
- Financial capital: the result of the first two.
Add an explainer sentence here: focus on the first two, and the third follows more often than not.
Quick Hits That Matter
- Public companies often over-index on shareholders. That can crowd out employees and customers if left unchecked.
- Wealthy people also have pain. Dismissing their struggles isolates them further.
- Gossip wastes time and wrecks reputations. Have real conversations instead.
- If you think every rich person is an a-hole, check your lens.
The Bottom Line
Wealth built with integrity helps everyone win. Stop blaming money. Heal your wounds. Set clear boundaries. Create value. Collaborate. Invest in relationships. Speak life, not gossip. If you feel resentment, look inward and ask what lesson you’re avoiding.
Want change? Try this today. Write the three most valuable problems you can solve. Reach out to two people and make a deposit in the relationship—an intro, a resource, or a thoughtful idea. Then repeat weekly. That’s how abundance grows. And if you still insist that money makes people awful, maybe it’s time to ask why that story serves you.
