Pattie Ehsaei’s family fled Iran when she was just 7 years old to escape an oppressive regime. Her parents, once successful professionals, struggled to rebuild their lives in America. Her father started multiple businesses, but each one failed, forcing him to do manual labor to make ends meet.
Her mother, despite her qualifications, couldn’t find work and lost her sense of purpose and power in the relationship. Ehsaei’s mother would often tell her, “Always make your own money. No matter how much your husband makes.
Whoever controls your money, controls you.” Due to her lack of financial independence, Ehsaei’s mother felt forced to tolerate things she wouldn’t have otherwise, especially her father’s infidelity. In 1995, Ehsaei’s father’s unfaithfulness became bold and careless. The emotional weight crushed her mother, leading to depression and a change in her personality.
On the worst day of Ehsaei’s life, she couldn’t reach her mother and called the police for a welfare check. The police informed her that her mother had taken her father’s life and then her own. Through the pain, Ehsaei realized that financial independence isn’t just about money but also about freedom, self-respect, safety, and the power to walk away when things turn toxic.
She promised herself she would never live in the same kind of cage and would teach every woman she meets that financial independence is essential.
Path to financial independence
Ehsaei wrote her book, “Never Date A Broke Dude,” as a mission to empower women to take ownership of their financial lives, recognize red flags early, and never feel trapped in relationships because of money.
She shares five financial truths every woman needs to know:
1. Make your own money, no matter how much your partner earns. 2.
Have separate savings in a bank account in your name only. 3. Know the red flags, such as a partner refusing to talk openly about money or controlling all the finances.
4. Educate yourself financially, learning how to budget, invest, and build credit. 5.
Know what you own, including assets, accounts, and legal documents. Ehsaei’s story is a call to action for every woman to prioritize their financial independence, as it could save their life one day. It’s about dignity, choices, and shaping your future on your own terms.